This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize