I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
