That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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