we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
