Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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