I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
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officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
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OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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