Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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