You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
