He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
