I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
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Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
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That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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