Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
