sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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