even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
