at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
