Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize