If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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