So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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