i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
