So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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