Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
