absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
