UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
