Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
