haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
