If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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