is your mom at the bar?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
