I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
