we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
