just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
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I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
All the doctor said was why
Randomize