Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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