1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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