oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
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Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
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I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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