hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
