i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
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