I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
