I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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