I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Life is so much better after having sex.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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