I heard we made out
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
