Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
