He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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