You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
