so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
