is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
