Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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