did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
