HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
