she woke up with a sticky ear
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize