So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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