I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
