I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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