Cold hands, warm shart.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
