You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
birth control should be required to get into college
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Of course I have a pirate flag
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
