so explain again why im purple
no
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
