Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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