She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
