made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
