okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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