Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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