my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize