How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
