What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
