I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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