i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
