Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
