So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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