O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
