ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
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Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
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