good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
